Through Death to Life
Celebrating Funerals at Saint Thomas the Apostle Church
We at Saint Thomas want to express our sympathy at the loss of your loved one. Our faith reminds us that our Lord is the God of all consolation! He comforts us in all our afflictions and enables us to comfort those who grieve with the same consolation we have received from him. May our compassionate Lord be with you in a special way during this time of grief.
The death of a loved one is an incredibly difficult time in our lives. In the midst of all emotions and often physical exhaustion from caring for our loved one, we are faced with making arrangements at the funeral home as well as planning the Funeral Rites at the church. This booklet has been developed to assist members in our parish family in planning their own Funeral Rites, as well as for families, when planning the Funeral Rites for a loved one. Our hope is that many will choose to plan all or at least part of their own Funeral Rites. I believe doing this is a tremendous gift to your family at the time of your death and gives you the sense of peace that this is completed for when it is needed.
The Order of Christian Funerals is divided into three rites that correspond in general to the three principal ritual moments in the funerals of Christians: Vigil, Funeral Liturgy, and Rite of Committal. It is the Catholic Church’s preference that the Funeral Mass be celebrated with the body of the deceased present. It may either be buried or cremated after the funeral Mass is celebrated.
The Vigil. The Vigil for the deceased is the principal rite celebrated by the Christian community in the time following death and before the funeral liturgy, or if there is no funeral liturgy, before the rite of committal. The Vigil, normally celebrated in the funeral home, may be celebrated in the home of the deceased or in the church. The Vigil is normally celebrated the evening before the Funeral Liturgy and is a time for prayer and remembrances by family and friends. This is the most opportune time for eulogies and sharing stories of the deceased. Traditional prayers by the family during the Vigil include praying the Rosary.
The Funeral Liturgy. The Funeral Liturgy is the central liturgical celebration of the Christian community for the deceased. We celebrate the funeral liturgy as either a Funeral Mass or Funeral Liturgy Outside Mass with the major differences being the Liturgy of the Eucharist. At Saint Thomas the funeral liturgy is celebrated in either the church or the chapel.
Family members are encouraged to assist in the selection of the readings and music. We have a list of sacred Scripture, songs and Funeral Planning Worksheet to assist the family with that planning.
The Funeral Liturgy consists of the gathering of the faithful and receiving the casket (urn) of the deceased. The family and the deceased are normally greeted at the church entrance and then proceed into the church for the liturgy. The liturgy consists of: Introductory Rites, Liturgy of the Word, (Liturgy of the Eucharist), Final Commendation and Procession to the Place of Committal. Eulogies are not a part of our Catholic Funeral Liturgy and are best expressed at either the vigil service or during a gathering (luncheon) after the rite of committal.
The Rite of Committal. The Rite of Committal is normally conducted immediately following the funeral liturgy. The rite consists of: The Prayer over the Place of Committal, Committal, Lord’s Prayer and Prayer for the People. This is the normal time for any military honors. The rite usually takes about fifteen minutes. If the body is cremated, the Church’s expectation is that the cremated remains will be interred in the ground or in a columbarium (niche).
Planning Your Own Funeral Liturgy: We encourage parishioners to plan their own funeral liturgy. You may do this with family members, with a good friend, or by yourself. Once your funeral liturgy is planned, we suggest that you contact the parish and review your plans and put them on file at the church. It is also important to let your family know that this has been completed. If you have pre-planned your funeral with a local funeral home, we suggest that you have your Funeral Liturgy plan on file at the funeral home as well.
At the Time of Death: After the death of a loved one the family meets with a local funeral home to make funeral arrangements. The funeral home coordinates the date and time of the funeral with Saint Thomas the Apostle Church. Once the date and time have been confirmed, the family will meet with the parish priest and staff members to plan either the Mass of Christian Burial to be held at church or the Funeral Service that will be held at the Funeral Home. At this meeting with the family, the readings and music will be selected and the different ways the family may be involved in the Vigil Service and the Funeral Liturgy will be discussed. If this has already been planned, this information will be reviewed with the family. Information regarding the vigil, the luncheon, or any other matters specific to the family will be confirmed.
Military Honors: For a Funeral Mass with military honors for United States military personnel, active duty or retired, it is customary that the coffin enter and exit the church draped in the flag of the United States. The flag is removed upon entry so that the coffin may be sprinkled with holy water and the pall placed for the Funeral Liturgy as a reminder of the baptism of the deceased. At the end of the liturgy recessional, the pall is removed and the flag is once again draped over the coffin. Families coordinate with the funeral home for Military Honors. Please bring a DD214.
Eulogies & Remembrances: Eulogies are not a part of our Catholic Funeral Liturgy and are best expressed before mass begins. If a family chooses to include words of remembrance only one eulogy may be given, and the individual is limited to no more five-minutes.
The parish also accepts memorial gifts in memory of the deceased. If desired, the donor may specify the purpose for the gift. It is expected that the pianist and cantor be paid $150.00 each for their service as they are not employees of the church. Please make the check payable to the name of the pianist and cantor provided by the Priest. The Sacristan Fee is $100.00.
With Those Who Mourn. We hope this Funeral Planning Packet is of assistance during your time of grief. Risen Lord, pattern of our life forever: bring us safely home.
Sincerely in Christ,
The Pastor and Parish Staff of St. Thomas the Apostle